Even Photographers Struggle With Family Photos (And That’s Okay)

If you’ve ever looked at a photographer’s family photos and thought, “I bet their sessions are effortless,” let me be the first to tell you… they’re not.

A few weeks ago, my family and I traveled to Cape Cod for a vacation with my parents, my sister’s family, and all of our kids. It had been years since we were all together in one place, so we knew we wanted to document it. Instead of bringing my own camera and trying to juggle everything myself, I made the decision to hire Jillian Rollins Photography to capture this chapter of our lives.

And honestly? It was one of the best decisions I could have made.

What people don’t always see is everything that happens before anyone steps in front of the camera.

Coordinating outfits for 12 people. Making sure everyone’s schedules lined up. Hoping naps worked out. Packing snacks. Brushing hair. Convincing children to wear the clothes you picked out weeks ago….and waking up at 5am!!

It’s a lot.

Then came the session.

The beach was beautiful. The light was perfect. My parents were there. My sister, Logan, and her husband, Austin, with their three little ones, Ivey, Charlie, and Millie. My husband, Ryan, and our daughter, Parker, and son, Baker, and our cousin Abby.

And Millie, who is almost two, decided she had absolutely no interest in having her picture taken. (as seen above)

As photographers, we’ve all been there. Toddlers don’t care about the perfect sunset or carefully coordinated outfits. They don’t care that everyone is smiling except them. They have their own agenda.

The funny thing is… so do our own kids.

There were moments when Parker wasn’t interested. Moments when Baker was more focused on exploring than smiling. Moments where I caught myself doing exactly what every parent does, trying to negotiate with tiny humans who had completely different plans.

As a photographer, I spend so much time reassuring parents during sessions.

“I promise this is normal.”

“We don’t need perfect.”

“The candid moments are often the best ones.”

Standing on the other side of the camera reminded me that I need to believe those words, too.

Because when it’s your own family, it suddenly feels different.

You notice every stray hair. Every child who isn’t looking. Every wrinkle in your dress. Every moment that didn’t go according to plan.

But when the gallery arrived…

None of those things mattered.

I saw my parents laughing with their grandchildren.

I saw my husband holding my hand.

I saw siblings playing together.

I saw the joy, the chaos, the connection, and all of the little moments that make our family ours.

Not one image was made more valuable because everyone smiled perfectly.

If anything, the photos where we were simply living in the moment became my favorites.

As photographers, I think we sometimes forget how vulnerable it feels to be the client.

We spend our careers directing, encouraging, fixing flyaway hairs, calming nervous parents, and making everyone else feel comfortable.

It’s good for us to experience what our clients experience.

It’s a reminder that they trust us with something incredibly important.

And as parents, I hope this encourages you to stop waiting for the “perfect” time.

Your kids don’t have to behave perfectly.

You don’t have to lose ten pounds.

You don’t need everything to fall into place.

Life isn’t remembered because it was perfect. It’s remembered because it happened.

One of the greatest gifts I gave myself on this trip wasn’t the vacation itself. It was letting someone else take control.

For once, I wasn’t worrying about camera settings or posing everyone. I wasn’t setting a timer or running back into the frame. I was simply present with my family while someone else preserved the memories.

As photographers, we deserve that, too.

Because we spend our lives documenting everyone else’s stories.

Don’t forget to document your own.

Years from now, your children won’t remember whether they smiled in every photo.

They’ll remember that you were there.

And thanks to those photographs, you’ll be able to remember it too.

If you’d like, I can also make this more emotional and storytelling-focused, with vivid details from the Cape Cod beach session woven throughout.